Yee of little faith

I’m getting more and more distraught in people especially women.  I keep finding more and more of people lying and being unfaithful.  Makes me sick. Women who are engaged or married.  Being on bumble or tinder while in a relationship that isn’t an open relationship.  Like wwoooooowww how are you supposed to trust anyone. ..

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Surprise. Night shift

Guess what, on the night shift again. Which again is complete bull. The last time I updated this was august and I worked 2 weekends in a row and the last one I worked 3 days. Now everyone work 2 days for the weekend and we rotate who works it. So 5 to 6 plus weeks well I got the 2 in a row and now 9 weeks later I’m working it 4 days in a row. Cause fuck me. Today is 3 of 4.

So works been okay, my biggest thing currently is this BS night shift. It sucks in general but to add to it is I’m losing $$ since I’m not working on trucks.

Sierra and I have been doing pretty darn good and things are going and looking great. She’s just keeping very busy with work but she likes her job a lot and the company cares about their employees which is fantastic.

Done.

Finished my shifts of nightie.  The nice part with the end is I’ll get done, home and in bed about 930 ish and sleep for a few. Wake back up at 1 ish and then have the Rest of the day to do stuff.

Since I haven’t mowed since the beginning of the month I HAD to do it today.  I’m honestly suprise I didn’t get a letter from the borough telling me I had to cut it. It was that bad. Also ran the recycling out,  got a quick bite. Tidy up a small bit I  the house and am going to take my boat back to my parents for the winter and also get my obscene amount of glass recycling taken out. My county no longer recycles glass and it’s been over a year and I can’t bring myself to just throw it away when I can take it to the township right across from my parents in the next county over. So it will be nice to get that done.

Then awesome fair food and truck pulls!

Can’t have anything nice

Well, once again I have been meaning to update this. Oddly enough I’m going to be starting my night shift again in a day which was the last time I updated this.

Among many issues and such the main reasons for my grievance is, about a month ago while mowing I got stung twice by bees and they hit hard. I haven’t been stung in years but man it hurt.  Found the nest Luckly but was in my little firewood pile so I’m unable to have campfires and mow near it till I figure out how to get rid of them. Also just today while mowing I moved my boat and am pretty sure there is a hornet nest in it. I also hooked up the hose to run  the motor for a little bit and they were flying around. Hoping to not get stung. Luckly I did not but it’s frustrating to have to deal with ANOTHER nest of stinging insects. Also to add that, ants! Darn ants, have the usual black ant in the kitchen. Always fighting them. Then found out the living room has a ton of these small brownish ants. Like very tiny but darn things swarm anything sweet or food like.

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice.

I’ve been looking at this page multiple times over the last 2 or 3 weeks. Been meaning to post but not sure on what. Some days I wish I could use this as a more personal outlet, almost as a “diary” to express and talk about some very personal issues and thoughts but also not the proper place to do so even if it’s quite anonymous and prob like 3 people read these. So i could write about my deeper inner thought but personally still feel vulnerable. The main thing I’d want to express about is my relationship and my struggles with improving it, myself, and trust. All very difficult at this time between being summertime so I’m extremely busy but making extra $ and her (my fiance) starting her new career are making it difficult. Different schedules.

Once again I am working the midnight to 8 am shift but luckily it’s only for 7 days this time so that is once again going to put a strain on me and inturn our relationship. Let me say a side note how the weather right now is frustrating as hell! Yesterday it was hot and sunny and clear. Worked around the house and got most of the yard mowed and trimmed. The second I thought about taking my boat out on the water, dark clouds move in and tease for a while. Almost finish the yard work and it starts raining…….

Now today, have all daytime to take the boat out. Second I get out of bed. Gets overcast! The whole sky is covered with no end in sight amd even a few darks spots here and there.  Arg. Why can’t the here hinges go my way for more than a hot minute. (In different ways and aspects of my life. Relationship,  financial,  general luck…)

I wish therapy was free… only time I did any counseling was family counseling when I was 13 ish and in college, both free to me but also in a way my college counseling helped a lot but at the same time it seemed that issues i struggled with or things I dwelled on they just played them down or tried to tell me ” that’s not that bad. It’s not that big of a deal” which helped a little but times I’ll still dwell on it. But I’m cautious of new therapy folk and obviously paying for it is somewhat strange to me in a way.