This whole “adult” thing is getting old

Well development since the summer. I forget what all I said about my job before but I worked in the parts and service department at a medium amd heavy duty truck shop. basically tractor trailers. well around August I moved out into the shop as a technician. got a 25 cent raise and started buying a few tools here amd there. then bough a bunch of the basic stuff but had to keep it in my truck. bought a used tool box. (got a really good deal on it) and started filling It.  basically started making an extra 250 bucks since I was making commission.  spent most of the extra on tools. this last last check I kept the extra and used it to pay down my debts. we were living pretty comfortable.  then this last check I just got within the week was my first with no commission and was lower than what I was making in the parts department because I also made also little commission in there. so now we’re back to a thread thin budget and sierra god bless her is almost done with school but has A LOT of really tough work ahead and she won’t be able to work as much as normal and I’m not making enough to cover both of us. I’m Def going to have to stop drinking for a while and prob only eat at home now.  I haven’t weighted myself in a while…. I’m terrified. I’m hoping between stop drinking and basically starving myself amd living on ramen and pasta and canned food maybe a loss some weight. Can I say how angry my phone makes me when it spells amd instead of and, and doesn’t correct it… arg…

Well the other big thing is my truck is out of inspection and our sewer line us broke. Clogged or collapsed so no sewer and it’s been around a Month. Literally we can’t do anything. I disconnected the sink pipe and put a 5 gal bucket underneath but no bathroom or shower. We have to drive somewhere for that…. oh and both issues are because we don’t have the money to fix. The sewer is something that we can do ourselves because a plume will just waste our money. Had a hand full of people check it out including the borough and my dad so we’re thinking to just redo the whole main sewer line. But that involves digging down about 5 to 6 ft to find the line. Going to try to post some more to keep me sane.


I dont know. The winds of shit

*this was found in my draft folder again. Lol. This was around early summer i think. *

Finished rewatching house of cards prob about a month ago if not longer. time is flying by. its terrible. I think its from being broke all the time and living pay check to pay check. wish the next 2 weeks go by so I get paid again. just typing this before I change for work…
Work… I’m getting tired of it and the customers and people and pay. now they’re talking about rehiring one of my old coworkers. he was the one who “Trained” me and heavy on the “” because he sucked at it and is an asshole. A LOT of people hate him, and are looking at getting a different job as am I really starting to consider it. So a few months back things were going bad Sierra and I between our stress, lack of money I can honestly say I think I fell of the wagon a little. I was drinking a lot. I mean a lot. and stopped giving any f**ks. drinking during the day. before work. right after work. had some liquor stowed away in my truck. Drove buzzed a few times….. (don’t want to admit it but) had a bet of self destruction going on and sierra and I were fighting a lot or Id get pissed at her for small shit. vise versa. I think is came to ahead when she loaned her former lover $100 when we were hurting more than normal for $. And that pissed me off and pushed me over. I got retarded wasted that night. Threw up from dinking. 3 time total but the first 2 times we figured up Gatorade and alcohol in my stomach do NOT mix.
Then at one point I felt so distanced from sierra I started getting scared thinking we were going to break up. It felt like I didn’t know her and I didn’t know myself. didn’t touch alcohol for around a week then it has just been here and there any more which is good. but we also cant afford to buy it.
My damn credit card are wearing on me. they’re both basically maxed out and last month I somehow spend around $500…
Now I really need to go to work. cant change and be on time so ill prob go to the bathroom and drive to work and change there. more tonight hopefully.