why is it so difficult…..

Why does it have to be so difficult for humans to self motivate. College has made me so out of shape. Its so hard to motivate myself and to find time and energy to exercise. ITs very frustrating. Sierra offers to run with me because I also know she wants to exercise some too, but she’s always sick, or something is hurt. She fell the other week and hurt her ankle, god knows how long before she can run without hurting it. I don’t really have any friends in college. Just one, he’s in ROTC, he already went to basic training. He does offer to have me PT with him but that’s at 6:30 in the morning…… I work till midnight plus. Ill admit I have a very low self esteem, I try to improve it or my attitude. But my self image is just a vicious circle, I try to eat healthy, WAYYY too expensive (Of course I may be able to afford it now), and its so hard. Barely any flavors and I’m almost always hungry. Then I fall back out of it. I admit, I love my carby foods, burgers, bread, junk. the usual. But I feel horrible about eating. just one step at a time…. 99% mental and 1% physical.


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